|Yeah, I finally cracked and signed up|
for the Insecure Writer's Support Group.
The most obvious portrayal of this is in The Rogue King saga. It was never sunshine and rainbows. It couldn't be, if I'm honest, and I run the Main Characters through the gauntlet, I truly do.
But when I split the story, when I wrote the scenes I'd skirted for the sake of brevity ... something happened.
The story grew darker.
As I look at how it alters the tone of the books, I find myself wondering if I originally left off what happened in those unwritten scenes because I was afraid of writing them, of not doing them justice. In contrast, I've some sort of irrational fear that what I'm writing now is just gratuitous fluff.
I'd like to think I wasn't afraid to step off the fluffy path of good times, maybe hesitant in the beginning (I was twelve when I first wrote this, after all). And pulling these character's apart was always the plan and the assumption that they had it rough wasn't new.
But to drag one character through a decade of heartache, attempted suicide and depression, and then have another almost completely broken through... well, I won't get into what happens here, I'm not even certain how I reached that level. None of it was in the original plot. It's lead to some rewriting of certain scenes, especially in the final book where both characters get to heal a little.
The last question that plagues me relentlessly is: Is it realistic? To which "I hope so" is the only answer I have.