First Golden Dawn got a mega-hammering over at Unicorn Bell.
Then Dragon went through the ringer in GUTGAA. It's still going through it's paces there (got through the second round, it did), so do pop over and have a look.
And you know what I've learnt? My original queries all sucked. That's okay though. I've long accepted that the first draft is not the draft. Learning the reasons behind why the queries didn't work was eye-opening to say the least.
But now it's time for another month-long query polishing with The Haunted Writing Clinic and Contest. ^_^
Okay, here's the deal with this one: For the first week, minions (writers who have query-ready manuscripts) will post their queries for the other minions and super villains (writers published or pre-published by CQ) to critique.
And because I'm still in a happy spot with my last two queries, I'm using this as an opportunity to polish my query for The Rogue King, my science fantasy of epic proportions. Alrighty then!
Dear Super Villain,
As a boy, all Koral ever wanted from life was a chance to fall in love and have a family. It is at the whim of Lorric, the God of Lust, that this simple wish is crushed and the life of one young man is altered beyond redemption.
Genetically created by humans and raised with technological knowledge centuries ahead of common folk, Koral is already an anomaly of his world. Growing up having never needed to fight or kill to survive, he struggles to accept the reality of living in a less-than-forgiving land when he flees his human guardians. It sets him down the path that strips him of his innocence and condemns his soul, and brings rise to the legend of the greatest Rogue to ever have lived.
Sacrificed to and possessed by Lorric, Koral is forced into the mould of Veng where, as the god uses Koral's body to rape and murder, his idealistic outlook on life is shattered. He struggles to keep his old ideals while carving out a new life amongst the men he's been made the ruler of in the hope of evading Lorric's notice. This life is enriched when Koral unexpectedly falls for Lasil, the young woman he once saved as a little girl.
But the gods are not finished with him. Koral was meant to be king, but not of the Rogues. To make it right, the powerful All Mother has his soul taken to hide him from Lorric. In retaliation, the god has Lasil taken. Years pass before Koral learns the reality of her kidnapping and, risking the last portion of his self along with his life, sets out to free her from the god's clutches before she is bent to Lorric's will.
THE ROGUE KING is a science fantasy told through the points of view of Vengeance, Lasil and Kael. At 199,000 words, and written to stand on its own, it is the first in a proposed duo.
Thank you for your time.
Don't forget to check out the other queries. And if you're just learning about this now, you're welcome to expand the minion numbers until the 21st.